Dear Lord,

I pray for the people, believers or not, in this world that truly need to find their way through your teachings and love.

I pray for the people of Houston and their safety.

I pray for my young daughter who needs your guidance to make the right choices and she grows.

I selfishly pray that you will provide your guidance as I continue to search for the way to the Love that you so readily give to me.

In your name I pray,




I gotta…

I’ve got to beg your pardon but I’m putting this weeks Revelation post on hold until next week.  I have some things I need to figure out.

Why can’t I get myself to church? I NEED to find a church yet when it comes time to try one my wife and I found, I balk.  I find some sort of excuse to not go.  I don’t feel well, my arthritis is acting up, I have stuff I need to do….

Why can’t I be more like Daniel? He put everything to God. Kidnapped, taken to a Pagan Empire (Babylon), and trained to be a Babylonian, yet he resisted and did everything in the name of God.  Every single decision was based on whether it would be what God wanted or not. So simple for a young man that was somewhere between 13 and 19 when he was taken from Jerusalem.

See, I have a problem.  A big problem for me. According to my aging Mother, I was never baptized. Now I know that when you are born again you need to be re-baptized but I wonder if never having had it done as an infant has been a part of the troubles in my life. Please understand, I don’t blame my parents for this.  We were never a very religious family growing up, but at two weeks shy of 44 I want to be. I want to be righteous in the eyes of God.  I want to know that I’ll be taken in the Rapture only to return with Jesus at the Battle of Armageddon.

I guess I don’t know what I need to do so that I can push through and get to church. To find a group of people I can share my joy in the Lord with.

Friday….A Secret Confession

So here we are on Friday and I’ve only posted a photo this week.  I’m such a slacker.

I have my first post planned out for the Revelation Series which will be called “Revelation – The Prequel”.  I’ll let you stew on the that title for awhile 😀

Some of you may know that I’m a published author and poet but I don’t want to share my name.  I want this blog to be about our shared Faith and Journey and not my prior writing.

I had planned on writing a novel about Revelation and a Pastor that was left behind during the Rapture but that didn’t quite fit the calling that I’ve experienced.  Along with sharing my journey on the Blog, the Holiest of Holies has called me to share my writing gift with the word in a very specific manner.

For quite awhile after receiving the calling, I hemmed and hawed about what my story was going to be so I went back to my old tried and true, the apocalypse.  We know the word Revelation in Greek is ‘apokalypsis’ so I figured I’d head there.  As I wrote, the chapters became more and more convoluted.  More ex machina than I cared for. In the literary world this means special things happening to ‘save’ the characters.  It stems from deus ex machina which roughly means ‘save by god’s intervention’.  Not our God though.  This is ancient Latin referring to a Greek performance.

Basically the writing was forced and I wasn’t happy about it.  I’m probably going to toss the ten chapters to never look at them again.

Now, that being said, I am a HUGE reader.  It’s not uncommon for me to read five books in a week, therefore I have Kindle Unlimited through Amazon.  I read all the Revelation based stories that interested me (there are some stinkers out there).  I then stumbled onto something I never thought I’d read.

Christian Cozy Mysteries

This is my secret.  Deep and dark, I love these stories about Grandmothers who solve crimes or young women who fall in love while solving mysteries.  Christian based clean fiction that’s a fun mystery with humor.

With that being said, that’s where I’m headed.  A male point of view Christian Cozy Mystery.

Now you know my deep dark secret.  I love these stories.  Stories I believe my mother read because the one series has the actual recipes referenced in the story in the back of the book! Bonus!

That’s it for today folks.  Just thought I’d bare my soul a little bit.

Love each other, take each day one step at a time, and never forget He loves you no matter what!

A Dad


PS. – If you are interested in this type of story check out the author Hope Callaghan!


Slapped in the Head while in Rush Hour

So this morning, I’m cruising along in morning rush hour, making sure I hit my lane changes where I need them, and basically avoiding the other morons (myself included) on the outer-belt.

Often times I’ll think about my writing and what I’m looking for in a subject for a novel.  What grabs my attention.  As an avid reader, I always start with what would grab my attention then progress to what would really grab the reader.

A pastor looking over a river from his backyard.  Sitting in a lawn chair looking out as the lazy water goes by under the early moonlight of dusk.  Suddenly a hand rests on his shoulders.  He looks at the hand and see the spike marks.

“Sweet Mother Mary and Joseph!”

“Yes my son, I miss them too.”

Whoa.  Just whoa.  We never think about it.  His mother, Mary, had to mourn the loss of her son when her was crucified.  We aren’t really sure about Joseph because no indication is really given as to when he passed.

The reverse aspect is also true though, Jesus had to mourn the loss of his mother when He was crucified because He was leaving the Earth.

I immediately thought of my parents and their passing.  I lost my father first to cancer and then my  mother two years later to what I believe was a series of TIA strokes (these are the types that don’t always present).

Man, was I angry.  After so many years of my father and I not getting along, we were doing awesome, only to have him yanked away from me.  Then my mom (being 14 years younger than my next sibling, I was a mamma’s boy) having these many strokes, forgetting how to swallow, and basically starving to death.

Mad is an understatement. Furious. Enraged. King Kong, nitrous fueled anger.  

Then this morning, on just another Friday, driving into the office, He speaks to me.  He took that split second in time to grasp my shoulder and say, “You’re not alone.”

I think that we tend to think of Him as, well, HIM, and tend to forget that he was also Jesus Christ.  He could die, He could bleed, He could feel.

Take those few moments this morning and remember that, yes, the King of Kings, Hosanna, Son of God, and Jesus can feel pain and suffering also.  That you aren’t alone in that battle.  You aren’t alone in that pain when family or friend is ripped from you.

That he is there, hand on your shoulder, sharing your pain. 

I love you all and remember if you need to talk, I’m here for you.


A Dad

Saturday Morning

6:33 AM – Ugh.  I haven’t been able to sleep in for years.  Always gives me a Migraine.  And for you young people out there, staying up until 1AM and getting up at 10AM is not sleeping in.  Still about the same amount of sleep.

When I stepped outside to let the dog out and have a cigarette, I looked at my phone and it said it was 5 degrees Fahrenheit.  Cold.  Dang Cold.  I didn’t see Satan in a parka out there so I know Hell didn’t freeze over.  Just a typical winter here.

My daughter is still in bed and I just woke up my wife to see if she’s going to the food pantry or not.  The one we volunteer at is for Veteran’s and their families.  Since I’m a US Navy Veteran it just seemed like the place to be.  Only today I won’t be going.

At this point your going to say so what?  Well, I don’t miss.  So far I’ve missed twice, once because I was throwing up and the second because we had a nasty ice storm and couldn’t get out of the house.  Why today?  Because I don’t take care of myself.

If you asked me one thing I would say to my 18 year old self, it would be take care of your body.

  • Don’t smoke
  • Watch what you eat
  • Exercise and enjoy it

Those three simple things would prevent where I’m at now.  The weird thing is I KNOW that through God all things are possible.  Now you’re wondering how a guy who writes a Christian Blog isn’t doing amazing?

Because sometimes I have a bit of a wonky relationship with God.  To be even more clear I know it’s ME with the problem.  HIS love has NEVER wavered, it has always been my strength that’s wavered.  I know HIS love for me is never ending but with everything I’ve gone through that worldly and human portion of my mind struggles. (See the blog post Struggles of Faith to see what I’m referring to)

I have no doubt that if I turned everything over to the King of Kings that I’d find the motivation to quite smoking, eat better, and exercise.  I have no clue sometimes why I don’t.  Every time I feel close, I feel the Holy Spirit, something blocks me.  I get angry and frustrated.  I weep in anguish, feeling that I’ve been forgotten, not worthy, or forsaken.  That I’m doomed to walk the Earth until the End of the Daniel’s 70th Week (the end of the Tribulation) until I’m judged, found lacking, and cast to the Lake of Fire.

Sometimes I see glimmers of Hope.  Maybe I understand a sermon, get likes/followers on here, or just sometimes it’s clicks.  But as soon as that happens, that wonderful feeling is pulled just out of my grasp.  I see it.  I feel it and know it’s there but I just can’t reach it.  That’s the exact moment where my strength fades.

Demons?  Most likely.  Good vs. Evil.  Once you have the Seal of the Lord a demon may no longer directly take control of you BUT they can still tempt you.  It’s up to you to choose.

I don’t dislike science, as a matter of fact I believe in a lot of it.  My favorite is ‘for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction’.  Like I said, Good vs. Evil.  Angelic beings vs. Demons.  I’ll get into what demons are in another post but just know they exist.

So back to the point, are they demons stopping me?  My stubborn human brain?  I don’t know but it’s past the point of annoyance.  I want that beautiful relationship with the Lord.  I want to feel his Spirit and bask in the glow of it knowing that I have Eternal Life in front me.  I want to be inspired to continue to spread his word, for now electronically, but maybe some day from the front of a small town church in the Adirondacks (where I want to retire to).  I want to make the right choices and be guided by his light through this murky life so that one day I can be there when Jesus fulfills Biblical Prophecy and returns as promised to create the Millennial Kingdom.

Do you struggle?  Let me know?  Maybe we can pray for each other.  We can support each other in this day by day worldly struggle.


Thanks for reading and being who you are,


A Dad

Struggles of Faith

Roughly a year and a half ago, I had a major nervous breakdown.  It took six months for me to recover enough for me to actually be able to return to work.  The whole experience was full of mistakes in Healthcare, inability on my part to distinguish what was real, and a severe lack of Faith.

Why did this happen to me?  I can remember screaming this on the back porch where I live, curled in the fetal position. I cursed God for everything that had happened.  All the triggers that brought this on.

For example:

  • Lost my father to cancer
  • Lost my mom
  • Lost my marriage
  • Lost my job
  • Lost my house
  • Lost my dogs
  • Lost fifty percent of the time with my daughter
  • Had a novel fail

There’s more but that’s enough to get the gist of where I was mentally.


I blamed God for things the things that happened.  Everything that I listed above was man made.  Even the illnesses I was diagnosed with and the medications I have to take now, I believe, are a result of man made circumstances.  If you are in your 40’s think about all the chemicals and stuff that we’ve been exposed too during our life time, whether it be from food or cleaning supplied or weed killers.  The list goes on and on.

This isn’t God’s fault.  It’s man.  We did this to ourselves, so why should I blame God or even expect him to intervene in that situation?

If anything it’s a blessing because I’ve finally started looking at myself as a Christian.  I read about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.  I’m trying to find a church to fit my needs.  I read clean fiction (typically Christian based).  I listen to and support RadioU (our local Christian contemporary radio station).

But yet I still struggle.  Forty-three years of sin is a lot to turn around.  Slowly but surely it’s happening but things pop up.  December 28th was the seven year anniversary of my Father’s death and I went on a rager.  I wanted nothing to do with God because I felt abandoned.  This thinking led to other thoughts of Why and How Could He Do This.

Wrong thinking.  Man did this to ourselves, not God.  He is there for us during our weakest to make His love the strongest:

2 Corinthians 12:9

Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

These were Jesus’ words in response to a prayer by Paul.  It’s not the most popular line because it doesn’t show strength, the opposite of weakness but is saying that at our weakest moments His love for us is the strongest.

Understand that weakness isn’t just about being weak though.  As many phrases/words in the Bible are metaphors, so is weakness.  It can mean that people are mocking your faith making you look/feel weak.  It can also mean hard times in general.  It’s about when we feel at our weakest because of something that is happening to us.

Think about it, when tough times hit so do darker thoughts.  Those are the times where we need to turn to Jesus’ embrace to feel his everlasting Love.  We should always walk as Christians and always pray to Him, but it’s those dark times where his power can work through us the most.

Have a Great New Years weekend and please be safe,

A Dad



So it’s Friday and I’m a day late, so I’ll apologize for this now at the beginning to get it out of the way.  I’m working on a side project and lost track of time.

What is Salvation? Well the base definition is this:

salvation – preservation or deliverance from harm, ruin, or loss

But how does that apply to us as Christians or potential Christians?

Well, Jesus saved us.  It’s as simple as that in statement but it goes so much deeper.

In Genesis we learn of the curse of Adam & Eve as they are kicked out of the Garden of Eden.  The curse causes all of man to be born of Sin.  We are sinners from birth to death.  You can not get around it.  It’s a fact about who we are as humans.

In the Old Testament, God provides Moses with the Ten Commandants along with other teachings to help them with living a Holy Life.  They were to make sacrifices to the Lord God to atone for sins.  It was a very specific act to help cover sinning.

Sacrifice plays a large role in the Old Testament.  God had to kill animals to provide clothing after Adam & Eve sinned and Noah sacrificed after the flood waters receded.

The key thing to know is that we no longer offer sacrifices. Why is that?

John 3:16

For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. 

Let me make this PERFECTLY CLEAR, Jesus’ death on the cross was to provide us salvation. Jesus died for ALL of the sins that have ever been committed or will be committed.

The King of Kings took the proverbial bullet for every single person on the face of this planet.

Now the question you may be asking at this point is WHY?

The answer is so simple that we overlook it EVERY day.  How can we miss it with the glorious nature of this world and life in general?  Look around you and ignore the worldly trappings we deal with in our day to day lives.

The amazing things that we get to see and do in this world are because GOD LOVES US.

It’s that simple.  No more, no less.  What do we have to do in return?  Live the life that he put in the Bible.  Live a Holy life through the guidance of God.  It’s awesome!!  Not complex, so simple to accept, and so simple to change our sinful lives.

On this Christmas Eve Ever, I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas!

May God Bless You All!!

A Dad

PS – Don’t forget to reach out if you need to!  I’m here for you.